Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I'm a LOSER!

Yes, I'm a LOSER.
I know, less than 24 hours ago I was proclaiming I was a WINNER!

So, I have this disease.  Now calm down, I'm okay.  You don't have to start worrying about me.  But if you do want to bring me over dinner or desserts, I won't refuse them.  totally kidding (but then kind of not).

It's a disease that I will call "Feeling-On-Top-Of-Life-So-Why-Not-Add-Another-Thing-To-My-Plate-That-Will-Eventually-Make-Me-Stressed-And-Crazy" (typing out that disease took way too long---approximately 4 minutes too long).  I know, it sounds serious, but it's easily cured.  Perhaps you've been diagnosed with the same disease before?  Why do we do this to ourselves???  Are we invincible?  Well, shoot, I'll admit it.  I'm not invincible.  Sometimes I make rash decisions and then my family suffers the consequences.  I just spoke to my ward (LDS church-speak for congregation) on Sunday for approx. 12 minutes.  I did a lot of preparation for it and was reminded of the quote from one of our prophets, David O. McKay,No other success in life can compensate for failure in the home.”  

You see, I'm trying REALLY hard not to fail in my home.  Now, I'm not saying re-opening an Etsy store would mean that I was ditching my family.  On the contrary, I think doing something creative and using your talents is a wonderful thing.  And, heck, if you can make some money doing it---more power to you.  But, what I am saying is that emotionally, physically, and mentally I'm not in a place where stocking an Etsy shop is a good idea for me right now (wouldn't that be funny if I opened it up next Tuesday? hA!).  Oh! and don't stress again for me that something is not quite right in my life.  I promise, all is well here.  I'm just trying to finish all the million projects I started years ago.  Literally, I started a huge painting for Tillie while I was pregnant.  It's ALMOST finished, but not quite.  Oh, yes, she is 2.5 years old now.  Good work, Melissa.  Way to follow through. :)  Really, for the moment, I'd rather re-decorate Tillie's room and make her some new hair bows than work on a lot of projects for other people.  

Am I making sense anymore?  probably not.  Sorry, that's what happens when you give me a computer and a blog.  You lose!  hA!  Who's the loser now?  :)  again, totally kidding. 

So, as you read last night, I was feeling like the "IT" girl.  So, in my haste, I decided to open my Etsy store again.  WHAAAT?  As soon as I finished that post, I thought, "Did I really just open up my little shop again?  Why did I just do that?  Aaron's gonna kill me."  jk.  I didn't think that last part.  Gratefully, Aaron would never want to kill me.  Why do we say things like that?  Anyway, it is funny, as soon as I told Aaron that I re-opened the store, his reaction was, "Whaaat?" 
"I know.  I know," I told him.

AAAAAANYWAY, I just put my store in "vacation mode" yet again.  You see, I really like doing prints/stationery---I do.  Like, I dream up things to put in my store and it is REALLY fun creating new things for people.  It's actually one of my MOST FAVORITE things to do.  True story.

But, seeing as I did just tell Aaron that I wanted to "SIMPLIFY" my life---re-opening my little store is probably not a "must" on my to-do list. 

So, that makes me a loser.  There were a few requests for custom orders already, and that is my favorite.  So, I have said yes to a few.  And, then, case by case, deadline by deadline, I'll see if I can do more.  I hope I haven't scared you off if you were thinking you'd like me to help you with something.  I really might be able to help.  It's just probably not good for me to be actively seeking out things.  Comprendo?

Anyway, the decision to put the store in "vacation mode" and then eat a few yogurt covered raisins has been the best medicine. 
Let the holidays come.  I'm ready for them!  BOO yah.

And, because no Melissa post is complete without a picture, let's go back to Barcelona, Spain circa 2004.  This is me jumping.
yes, I know what you're thinking, I should have been a cheerleader.  As Jo March said, "I should have been a great many things..." 
 **And because I can embarrass myself and my sister, Becca, I thought I'd post these last few.  I had just recently returned home from Spain and told Becca about how awesome my jumps on film were (see above).  So, we did a "jumping" session.
I must have been PRE-jump here.  I realize that I might be a loser now, but this position I was caught in made me an even BIGGER loser back then.  Oh oh dear.  Not good.
BIG AIR!   I think we both got approximately 2.5 inches of air.
whooop!  there it is!  she nailed it.  good work, becca.
 So there you have it.  I'm a victim of my disease.  Need I say more?


Lyssa said...

at least you are an honest loser!
ha ha, seriously no sweat Melissa! it makes you look like a winner when you can admit defeat from life's distractions for the most important things, like family and homelife. That's why I stopped making things and selling them because, it was hindering me as a mother...not good!
Anyways, you are a winner to me always!

Jordan and Jandee said...

This all makes perfect sense to me. And good work speaking in sacrament, I hate that and say "um" and "like" about fifty billion times event though I don't think I say those things too much in regular conversation.

Tim and Melissa said...

Haha! You are GREAT! I love reading your posts and I definitely still think you are a winner. Good job for being willing to change your mind rather than feeling stuck since you had announced it to the blog world. Way to take control!! I also love your old pics. I miss you!

P.S. I'm looking for the sleep fairy as you suggested, and I really don't care what she does as long as it involves my kids and sleeping...oh and me sleeping too. :)


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