Saturday, January 16, 2010

call me crazy.

Well, it's been a little bit of a roller coaster these last few days.

Some might blame it on hormones, others might blame it on the fact that I have two children under two, others say that I'm recovering from a major surgery, or maybe it's because I'm taking narcotics around the clock----I think it's because I'm a worrier.
And, I blame my mom. :)

True story.

Some background information? Okay. A few weeks ago, my mom suggested that it might be a good idea if, when she leaves Texas, she takes Tillie with her to Utah---that way Aaron and I could have some time alone with little Cal and not have to stress about Tillie and her needs, our families in Utah could dote on her, and it could be a sweet experience all around. We knew that Aaron's parents would be flying down a few days later, so they would be able to bring her back down again.
Good times all around. Sounded wonderful. Everyone was on board.

Well, this idea was presented about three weeks ago. And, most of me loved the idea. But, then every time I REALLY started thinking about it, this fear would wash over me and I'd begin a panic session. What if something happened to Matilda? What if there was a car accident and she died? What if she got hurt? How would I get to her? What could I do? bottom line: I would have NO control. That was the BULK of my worry, but then I'd stress that she might think she was getting kicked out of our family now that the baby was here. Or that she wouldn't want to come back home to us... those were just a few of the other thoughts that entered my mind.

Eventually, I'd push all these crazy thoughts out of my mind and continue on my day. But, literally, every day when I'd think about the reality of it all, I'd start sobbing. I felt like I needed to memorize her face. I felt like I needed to remember every darling thing she'd do... just in case. It was crazy. It was awful and I was a mess.

But, then I'd say to myself, "No, this is a good thing. Matilda will have so much fun with our families and her little cousins. I can get some great rest with Calvin (because, honestly, he is asleep 22 of the 24 hours in a day), Aaron will be able to get to know him better---this is a good thing."

Anyway, there was a constant battle in my head. Finally, after Tillie's bags were packed and all was set for the flight the next day---during a middle of the night feeding (which my mom would wake up with me for each one. she is amazing), I told my mom that I couldn't shake this worry. And, if I was such a basket case now, how could I get through the time she'd be gone?

My mom apologized, admitted that it was probably HER genes that had been passed to me, and why it was just fine for me to keep Matilda here at home. She assured me that no feelings would be hurt, no one would be upset, and that the only reason she had suggested it in the first place was to ALLEVIATE stress... not create it. She told me about her irrational fears and how some of them took years to get over, and some of them she's still not over.

So, I decided at 2:40 a.m. the night before she was supposed to leave, that Tillie would stay with me. Can you blame me? Get a load of this crazy girl.

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Because I had been focusing so much on whether or not Tillie would leave, I hadn't internalized that my mom was leaving. When that hit, I got a whole new set of worries. And, yes, of course, buckets of tears followed (both from me and my mom). For the record, her trip was MUCH too short. :) She is the best help in the entire world. She knows me inside and out. She takes care of me so well. She spoils me. She teaches me. Basically, she is the best. mom. ever. And, I love her a lot.

So, my mom is gone. But, thankfully, Aaron is here (glory glory for that). We were able to make it the rest of the day on Friday while Aaron was at school (I think Heavenly Father was especially aware of me that day)... me, Tillie, and Cal were able to nap for over an hour and a half (all at the same time, mind you). Aaron was able to come home from school on time. And all was well.

Aaron has been amazing too. If we're talking about gratitude for people and their help, Aaron's got to be at the top of that list too. He just takes care of life. He's so good to get things done. Whether it's playing with Matilda, doing dishes, telling me to "take it easy and quit acting like you're in the Olympics", burping Calvin, changing a billion diapers (he's really good at this one), creating the ultimate swaddle... you name it, he's on it. Did I mention that I am so lucky he wanted to marry me? He's the best. husband. ever.

I love him. I love my mom. I love my kids. I love our families back home. I love my sweet friends. I love my life.

It's been rainy these last few days, and I have loved being able to stay inside a warm, cozy house and just bask in the spirit that Calvin has brought into our home. Honestly, his little spirit is so sweet. He's so easy going and well, perfect. Here are a few of the many faces this kiddo makes. His eyebrows are so expressive, it KILLS me! I love it.

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Like I said, it's been rainy, so here are the pictures we took in the kitchen (the most natural light on a gray day) just hours before my mom left. I decided to go "black and white" with these pictures, because the lighting was still pretty wonky. But, just so you know, Matilda and Calvin really are in the same brown and blue. Matchy-matchy. We'll do another photo shoot in better light so you'll believe me.

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Anyway, there you have it for now. We're doing good. We're glad we have a holiday on Monday so that Aaron can stay home (thank you, Mr. Martin Luther King, Jr.). We can't wait till Wednesday when Aaron's parents arrive (hip hip hooray). And, we're grateful that even though half of my stitches have accidentally been pulled out (don't know how that happened), my insides have not fallen out. Especially glad for that last one.

cheers.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

happy five years.

IMG_1039 b&w aaron and melissa at culture thing
this was us about 6.5 years ago? while we were dating and very much in a "likey-likey" status.
this was also during my bracelet phase of life.


Oh, wouldn't you know it? We had our 5th anniversary on the 12th of January. The day after we got home from the hospital. Let's give a shout out to that. I am a lucky lucky girl.

Quick story:
At the hospital, when we were just hangin' out, Aaron was my phone manager. He'd let me know when I'd get texts from people, respond for me, and do anything else I wanted. As he was scrolling through the text messages I'd received, he came across a few that I'd saved to my "sim card" from him.

Some from while we were dating, one from him telling me he was looking at rings, and another few from him the night before we got married. It was so fun having him read all of them to me as I was holding our second little baby.

It was so sweet to look back and think about all we'd done together in five short years, and how we thought that we loved each other so much then, and how it has increased 500 fold. It was a good day and reminded me how blessed I am.

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beijing july 12 to august 13 151

beijing july 12 to august 13 165

aaron and mel in SA BW

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Happy belated anniversary, dude. Here's to 555 more years.

big boy calvin.

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I thought you would want to see more pictures of this darling boy.

So, okay, I'll upload the 400+ photos that have been taken in the four short days of his life. :) Yes, that is why it has taken me a little while to blog about the event. Oh, and I have a big slice in my stomach, did I mention that? As you can imagine, it's a little slow going around these parts.

And, while we're talking about me being SLOW, I have to thank you all for the kind words you've given us via text messages, emails, calls, comments, etc. Sorry I haven't really responded to most of them, but I wanted to let you know how much we have appreciated your friendship! Little Calvin has been born into quite the supported team. So, THANK YOU a million trillion times over.

And, no, you won't get the whole 411 in this post, but I promise it will happen soon. Let's just take a look at a few more photos that took place in that glorious hospital. Seriously, it was a great experience. And, like last time, the FRENCH TOAST was glorious. I may or may not have ordered it for almost every meal while I was there.

But, just know, we are happy and healthy and amazed that little Cal-face is finally here. (FYI: Aaron was under the direction that he was not to post any crazy pictures of me in the last post (that's why it looks like he is a single dad) until I could approve, so now I'll let you see a few of my face too).

Matilda meets Calvin for the first time. Nana Nise there to adore as well. I love this one of my mom. Is that happiness or what?! Yes, she loves him too.

Nana doin' what she does best. Taking good care to keep his little head warm. She flew down last week and has been such a LIFE SAVER here! Thank heavens for awesome moms!!

Yes, I love little hats. And, obviously, Calvin does too. Look how happy he is that his mom found this on clearance! :)


People say his hair is all sorts of colors. I think it is strawberry blonde. Any thoughts? And, yes, he is THAT sweet in REAL life. Honestly. True story.

First shot with almost the whole family.


mom and baby boy.


is he too precious or what?!

some beautiful flowers my sweet friends brought to decorate the hospital room. aren't they happy?

ready to go home, but had to get a happy baby for the shot. I love how focused we are. Wow, good parents. hA!

ok, here's an okay one where I'm actually out of the hospital gown. It's amazing how loosey goosey those things are, but comfortable! Do I miss it? kind of.
Another note, it is funny how crouched Aaron's legs are on this one. And, do you love Cal's little outfit? Me too.

Calvin rockin' the car seat. Oh yes. Does his head look comfortable, or what?!

WE'RE ACTUALLY HOME now. Ahhh, I loved the hospital stay, and the assurance that all was well at my house with Tillie (thank you, mom!)--- and don't worry--- we spent the maximum amount of time there till they were ready to kick us out. But I love being H.O.M.E. I love it here.

What I love most is being able to see these two kiddos interact with each other (well, Tillie is the only "interactive one" at 20 months, but you catch my drift). I can't believe we finally get to put him in these teeny tiny clothes and put him in his little room... it is all pretty fabulous.

Here are a few more pictures to see what life's been like here at home.

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so happy to be home too. see by his face?

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Is it ironic that he was born on Elvis' birthday? I think not.

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"Thank you. Thank you very much." (pretend Elvis AND Calvin are saying that together).

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Tillie singing to him. He's loving it, obviously.
(and yes, that is some more cookie dough in her mini spoon. I told you we love it).

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Tillie loves to wave to him. She does it a lot. I love it.

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calmed down again.

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me thinking, "let me just get a few more shots of you, withOUT the hat." Oops. He wasn't too happy about that plan.

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one more, for good measure. Oh, and while you are MEASURING, let's take a look at that BIG BOY HAND. Just like his dad (and in more ways than one). Big feet, long toes, big hands, dimpled cheek, chunky weight, red hair---he's a mini Aaron alright. No wonder he shares his name.

Oh, and FYI on the name. Yes, I will call him CAL and CALVIN. Just like we have a few names for Matilda aka Tillie. Some of you think, "Would you just stick with ONE name?" But, to that I say simply, "no." Thanks for asking, though. I like both names (Cal and Calvin) equally and didn't want to have to choose (neither did Aaron). So, here we are. Don't be mad, because we are SO glad about it.

And there you have it for now. He is here. He is perfect. It is a miracle. We love him. I'm pretty positive he loves us too.

Good times, all around.

Much more to post, coming soon.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Introducing... CALVIN!

I don't typically do a lot of posting, but Melis is stuck in the hospital and wanted to make sure we got some pictures up. Here's a bit of a random smattering of some of the shots we've taken. We love this little boy and he's been an absolute angel so far.

His name is Calvin Aaron Wood. He weighed in at 9 lbs 9.4 ozs. He was measured at 20 inches. I'm impressed. I'm inspired. I'm blown away by the joy that he's brought us already. Melissa and I simply have a hard time comprehending the wonderful lives we get to enjoy. His birth has inspired us to be a little better. We have been blessed with so much to have a wonderful healthy new soul in our midst. We're constantly thinking life can't get any better and then something amazing happens.

This is Matilda's first time meeting her little brother

extreme close up... more to follow!

Calvin's trying to make us laugh by flexing his muscles

He's been sleeping like a bear in january... We think it may have something to do with the medicine, but we'll take it!

Here's a crazy hat his mom likes to put on his head

Tough to find something in the world better than this!

Or this!

I think he's a good looking kid

Kind of crooked with the hat, we'll work on it

Calvin in one of his favorite spots...


Well, I'm sure about 700 pics will follow along with Melissa's commentary.

Thanks for all the kind words you've shared. Melissa and Calvin are both doing great with no complications. Matilda's trying to figure out what in the world has happened, and I'm soaking it all in. I took school off Friday and Monday. In the hospital today Melissa turned to me and said, "Yea, this is like our honeymoon again." It's been great to just hang out and enjoy being with my family.

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