Friday, September 12, 2008

things i've learned about myself---in the last 48 hours.

So, I have a lot of things on my brain... and seeing that it is 5:30 a.m. and I've been up for the last few hours with Matilda and then working, I thought to myself, "What is sleep?" so I am here updating the blog. Love that. I figure, if you're up, you're up. Why sit in bed when I can be doing SOMEthing (i was going to insert "productive", but is updating my blog really called "productive"?).

Alas here we are. Things I've learned about myself in the last 48 hours. Mind reels that there could be THAT much to learn about myself in such a small window of time, but alas, it's true. Here they are.

Note 1: I have to have some type of noise in the background of my life. For example, I have the t.v. on in the family room for the bulk of the day (mind you, it is turned down most of the way to a dull roar). I am not a big fan of silence. I have a number of theories as to why, but won't go into that. I've always been that way, because my mom used to ground me from listening to the radio when I'd get on her nerves. That was a major punishment for me!

Even now, I have music going on my computer. It's a MUST when I am working, otherwise I go nuts. The point of sharing this, is because, if ever one day you are viewing your own "Google Analytics" page and seeing that some freak in San Antonio has been on your blog for hours at a time, realize that it is me. Not because I'm trying to memorize every detail of your fascinating life (please don't take offense), I am just listening to your play list in the background. Isn't it amazing how sick you can get listening to the same songs over and over again. I tend to kill songs by listening to them too many times. Even now when I hear songs like the Spin Doctors "Two Princes (Just Go Ahead Now)"--- I smile for memory's sake, and then have to turn it off, cause I killed it in the 6th grade.

Note 2: Expectations. Now, truly, I am not trying to be cynical, but I have come to the realization that in order to save myself from major grief, I have to lower my expectations in life. hA! Nice, right? I'll give you some case and point examples.

I work from home three days a week (yes, super nice, i know). I used to be able to accomplish some of that work during the daylight hours while Matilda was asleep. But, Little Ms. Tillie Mae has now changed her mind concerning her sleep/eat/life patterns. Thus, I found myself getting frustrated that I couldn't get my work done during "normal human" hours (as I like to call it). I have since realized that it isn't doing ANYone any good when I set myself up like that. So, I now plan on working in the "cloak of night" and if it so happens that I am able to get a few hours done in the daytime, I consider it a blessing. See, I guess maybe I shouldn't call it "lowering" my expectations, rather "changing" my expectations.

It's great when I can spend my energies on capturing Matilda's giggles on film or making sure we can find another great book to read, rather than thinking "how can I get her to go to sleep again or be happy enough so I can spend another few hours in front of the computer working?" Don't you agree? Me too.

You want another case and point? Sure, okay. (I know you are dying for more. hA!) Dental school, 3rd year. Everyone talks about how great it finally is to be in the 3rd year, because it's "sooo much better". You get home much earlier, hardly any tests, etc. Well team, I was expecting that to be the case. You can guess that it hasn't happened. I mean, yes, in ways this year is better, but then not in others. Why do we set ourselves up for lots of things like that?

Now, don't feel pity on me. Cause I don't. See, I have learned to change my expectations, so now I consider it "Grrrrrreat!" when Aaron comes home earlier than 9:00 p.m. See, (insert snapping fingers here) "it's just that easy!" Since doing this, let's just say, life is much better. I think Aaron would agree.


Note 3: I am a sucker for infomercials. Okay, I didn't learn that in the last 48 hours---I've always been drawn to those late night/Saturday afternoon programs that convince you to buy cordless edger that won't harm your flowers (Worx GT 2-in-1 Trimmer, yes, I just found the name of it. I really think my dad would like this!), Mighty Putty, or who can forget the classic Magic Bullet! Man, whoever was the brainchild for that one, KUDOS! And, the way they present it is totally hilarious. Aaron and I have had many discussions about this one. The whole premise is a random crowd that all slept over at the host's house. The next morning these gracious hosts make breakfast for everyone... including this crazy old smoker lady (see above gross picture---p.s. i love that i can find things like this picture on the world wide web. good times). Ahhh, I digress...

Have I ever purchased one of these items? No, not until now. (Mind you, my parents have bought TWO items for the other sucker in our family, Lizzy! For Christmas a few years ago, her big ticket item she wanted was a Scunci Steamer (she got it and loves it) and then, for another Christmas present, asked for the before mentioned, Magic Bullet. Apparently, the love for a good infomercial runs in the family).

I made my big purchase a month and a half ago and LOVE IT. Ever heard of Tony Horton's 10 Minute Trainer? Yeah, bought it and love it. 10 pounds lost and still loving it. hA! If anyone wants to talk to me at length about the subject, I'd definitely oblige.

(p.s. i was reminded of my love for infomercials early this morning as I was feeding Matilda--that's why I included this portion in my "things I've learned in the last 48 hours.")

Okay, that's a lot for one morning. Yeesh! I hope no one really read all of that, because they are probably going to be BORED STIFF. And if you did make it through, then you deserve some award. Thanks for helping me clear my head. I will now make my way back to bed (considering it is now 7:05 a.m.)---I think I can get at least an hour in before Matilda wants to hang out with me.

p.s. to my fellow texans--- is anyone else a little nervous about Hurricane Ike? yeah, me too. ok, i thought i was the only one.

9 comments:

Rebecca Snyder said...

Dude. Just read the blog. It is interesting because just yesterday I was telling someone how much I love the magic bullet infomercial and how many a Saturday mornings my mom would come down stairs at 10 am on the dot and she would find 3 girls watching about make-up, magic bullet, and space maker vacums. Then the punch line was the way that Lizzy is a sucker for gadgets- I swear that Clorox disposable toilet brush has given her more lovin than her iPod. Either way- funny that we were both thinking of it. I updated my blog.

Bethany said...

Hi melissa! I love your thoughts! In fact, they validate a lot of the thoughts that I often have as a new Mom, too. And I hope you did go back to sleep this morning. haha! Let's get together again soon!

elements: overexposed said...

Well you are definitely still funny! And I fully agree with you about 3rd year dental school. I don't know if I ever told you, I think I did, that everyone insisted it was better schedule wise, I still thought Chris was gone a ton and that the busy work just changed from textbooks to patients. There you go. What kind of an award do I get?...I read your whole post. :) Keep it real!

Becker said...

You're so right about expectations. I think happiness in this life is meeting our expectations. Otherwise, we're disappointed. So, we can go around disappointed, or we can enjoy things as they ARE and not expect them to be different than that.

You work from home?! I'm completely jealous. What do you do?

Lyssa said...

OH Melissa, life likes to play tricks on us all. We had the same problem 3rd year. It wasn't any easier! Plus Joe is in the worst group ever with the worst faculty ever! So yes, we are finally seeing some change but not much...Hang in there, as time goes on, things willl get better!
And Tillie Mae needs to stop this waking up! Um, i've probably told you this a gazillion times but Baby Whisper helps like that (snap) with figuring out crazy stuff like waking up at the crack of dawn!

BETH said...

I agree 3rd year isn't better then the others, it is a different kind of stress - Jacob was about the same as Tillie when I started 3rd year- he spent most of his evenings in the lab with me because Brian worked in the evenings. I loved the weeks I was on rotation and didn't have so much to do. It does get better after the 1st few months.

4 months is so much fun when they start to become more interactive but also frustrating because they aren't a sleepy newborn anymore.

So funny about your love of infomercials.
Okay so my book is finished

Katie said...

Crazy how you can learn to live on limited sleep! I hope that she gets back on a "normal" schedule soon!

Kindra said...

your blog is soo cute!!!

marc, michelle and Jackson said...

Can we say...we have to beautiful magic bullet to call our very own. Love it. You would love it. And love the commercial...totally on the same page with you here.

Glad to hear the word about the thrid year incase anyone tries to make me feel like it is going to be extra easy, I will already know its not true.

Hope you get some sleep and Tillie will give you a little break. That is no fun! Also, about changing your expectations a harsh reality of motherhood. And you will go through stages where your expectations can be better than sometimes, but always good to know you can drop EVERYTHING and just take care of a baby and yourself somedays.

Melissa, THANK YOU so much for coming to say goodbye. It really meant a lot and was REALLY great to talk with you. Thanks. Love you!

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