on the eve of her birth...

Our Tillie Mae is turning FOUR years old... in approximately 7 minutes.
I first wrote, "My Tillie Mae is turning..." and then I realized as I typed that, nope, she's not just MINE. She's her daddy's, Calvin's, her Heavenly Father's, her Nana & Papa's, her Grandma & Grandpa's, her auntie's and uncle's---she's all of ours.  And, I think it's safe to say that she is completely adored.

With that said, tonight I want to take a minute and talk as a mama about her baby girl, because that is what I am.  I learned first to be her mom.  Four years ago, I had no real idea of what being a mom would be like.  I never really knew Tillie would change me forever from a 20-something girl into a woman who, just thinking about her daughter, would well up inside, catch her breath, and get teary eyed.

In fact, as I was cleaning the kitchen tonight, I couldn't help but cry as I thought about how proud I was of her.  I want to bottle her up and keep her little, but at the same time I LOVE watching her learn and grow.  I can't believe the magic she brings into my life.  Tonight, I had Aaron help me make a tent out of crepe paper around the table, because I knew she would die.  I knew she would love it.  She's kind of predictable like that.

Let's talk s'more about her...
Tillie notices everything.  Remember that story about the ceramic chicken I purchased a few years ago?  She took notice the very next day---as a ONE year old.  Just this evening, as I was trying on a maternity purchase, I went into the kids' room for something and as soon as I walked in, Tillie says, "Wow, cute shirt mom. When did you get that?"  Hello.  How sweet is that?!  Every mom needs a girl like Tillie in her life.
Matilda is a caregiver.  She is constantly asking me, "Mom, how's the baby doing today? how does your tummy feel?" Just out of the blue she asks me things like this.  Another example, on Sunday I majorly stubbed three of my toes and actually it was quite the dramatic scene I made (hey, it hurt really bad. blood and tears were involved).  She ran to my side and said, "Oh no! oh no! I'm so sorry. That must really hurt! Oh, darn it. I love you. How 'bout I color you a picture?"  And then the next morning, after it was long forgotten by the rest of us, she said, "Mom, how is your toe feeling?" Sheesh. What a dolly she is.
Matilda is a helper.  She loves to clean, "decorate", cook, bake... you name it.

Matilda is a singer. She LOVES to sing her little heart out.  She has such a good memory and can remember so many lyrics to primary songs and random ditties we hear.  Lately, one of her favorite things to do is make up songs with goofy words.  "Poopy pants and poopy diaper" have appeared in the lyrics on more than one occasion.  :|  That girl.  I have NO idea where she got it from (my mom will argue she got it from me and I used to love the potty jokes...).  One of my favorite times of the day is when we sit on her and Cal's bed and sing a few songs before we go to sleep.  It's pretty sweet.  Tillie especially loves songs with good actions.  Her favorites lately are mostly Primary songs.  They are, "I am a Child of God," "Samuel Tells of Baby Jesus," "Silent Night" (except she calls it "Heavenly Peace"), and "Love is Spoken Here" (she calls it "I see my mother kneeling...").
Matilda is a great cheerleader.  She adores her brother and is always saying, "Oh, mom. Isn't Cal just so cute?" or "Isn't he so funny?" And, is constantly applauding Cal when he eats things he doesn't want to or when he picks up his toys.

Matilda is affectionate.  Tillie loves to touch.  She loves to hug and be squeezed.  Mostly, though, she just loves to be near us.  Even when she comes into our bed at night, she'll get in the crook of my arm and be content to stay just like that for hours.  She loves to put her arm around her brother (when he'll let her) and hold his hand.  As a non-touchy person, she has really taught me how important "touch" is.

Matilda is a competitor. She gets that from her dad.  She loves to "waste" Calvin when they are racing to get their jammies on.  And whenever someone suggests a "race" she's all for it.
Matilda loves to run. Always has. Her favorite game is being chased.  (should I worry about her as a teenager in the dating department?)

Matilda is sensitive. She easily picks up on when someone is feeling sad and always tried to figure out ways to help them feel better.
Matilda is a poser.  These next photos are proof.

Matilda is a book lover.  She will "read" book after book to both her and Calvin. I hope she always loves and is entertained by books.
Matilda is an artist.  Seriously, that girl can draw.  In fact, that's why we decided to get her a little Ikea table and chair set---b/c she wants to color all. day. long.  And, the things she comes up with blow me away.  I want to frame everything.  She'll sit at the kitchen table and color for HOURS.  It's so exciting to me to see how much she enjoys it.  It's like my dreams are coming true!  Her new thing is wanting to color a picture for EVERYONE!  Her little babysitter is coming this week and I told her about it a few days ago---as soon as she found out, she exclaimed, "Mom! I gotta get working on a picture for her!"

Matilda is beautiful.  I love everything about her... from her crooked bangs (whoops. my bad.), to her little nose, her darling "looks-like-we-curled-her-hair-with-a-curling-iron" curls, her big blue eyes, her tall & lean body, her toes... ALL of her. Inside and out.

Basically, I adore that sweet girl with all that I have.

She's my little sunshine and I am so lucky to be her mom.

happy birthday, tillie willy, my crazy kook.

love, your favorite mom